2008

Dec

Warch Watch
Paul Mooney handles this ‘Obama being off limits for comedy because he’s black’...
Dec 2nd

Me vs. My Bed

My Bed: Bro, fuck the paper that's due in an hour and a half. Just come and lay down in me
Me: I have to do this paper. It's my term paper. It's worth most of my grade for the class
My Bed: So what? So you fail? College is just flighty mental foreplay anyway
Me: Yea but education is good. Education fixes all the problems in the world
My Bed: Those problems will always be there. Other people will always spend their time trying to fix those problems. Let them while you lay in me and watch a Mr. Show DVD.
Me: No! I have to finish my paper
My Bed: Bro, you're already wasting time by writing on your blog.
Me: Yea, you're right, you're right.
My Bed: Come on, just lay in me. We can go on pornhub.com...
Me: No! Fuck this. I'm finishing my paper!
My Bed: Okay, fine, be a nerd
Me: Oh, I want to attempt to educate myself and that makes me a nerd? Fuck you, you fucking horizontal human holder. I hope I have a dream where I go take a piss and end up actually peeing all over you.
My Bed: Hey, calm down, you don't have to get so personal
Me: I don't have to get personal? I don't have to get personal?!
My Bed: No! Just calm down
Me: You know, I didn't want to tell you this, but I got you from Wallmart
My Bed: Take that back!!! Take that back!!!
Me: Enjoy the rest of the day knowing you were made by a company that treats its employees like shit
My Bed: Eh, actually I'm an asshole. I don't care.
Dec 1st
“I don’t even know what that orange stuff is…”
— if you find yourself saying...
Dec 1st

Nov

I'm DJing tonight at 10:30pm

Hey everyone, I know this is short notice but if you’re in Seattle and have no plans tonight...
Nov 30th
A New Hilarious Hilarious Piece by Jack...
Nov 29th
This is a picture of my dad laughing uncontrollably that I...
Nov 29th
Listen Listen
My dad laughing hysterically about a question he was going to ask me (picture above) If you...
Nov 29th
afuckaday: sexnotsex: dara I don’t know what your...
Nov 28th
Warch Watch
If you’ve enjoyed the beautiful nonsense of my friend Peter Lee so far you have to watch this...
Nov 27th
Warch Watch
Wyclef/Whoclef/Whereclef/Howclef/Whatclef Jean - Americlef This video is absurd! Wyclef is being...
Nov 26th

An Open Letter to Kanye

Dear Kanye, I’m going to steal your album right now. I’m sorry.  -Darius ps. I just...
Nov 26th
Warch Watch
Busta Rhymes - I got Bass This was one of my favorite songs this past summer. I’m so excited...
Nov 25th
Warch Watch
I went on YouTube and typed in “Worst Music Video Ever” and this is what came up. It...
Nov 25th
I don’t know what’s better, this show or...
Nov 23rd

The Real Internet

Earlier today I tried to get online and was having problems connecting so I opened up the network...
Nov 23rd
“Oh my God, that root beer float looks...
Nov 21st
Illa J "Strugglin"
Nov 20th
Great Piece by Woody Allen
Nov 16th

More Pictures of James' Non-Ironic...

Last night I hung out with my friend James aka the most ridiculous person I know aka the most...
Nov 16th
Nov 16th
Nov 16th
Warch Watch
(via arielemadi) Ohhhh shit!!!
Nov 14th

My new piece called "An Attempt at Yoga"

I’m a skinny guy. I’m so skinny that on Halloween, when I didn’t dress up as anything and instead...
Nov 12th

Darius Does Not Need To Stop Making...

If you’re a regular reader of my blog, meaning that you didn’t just find your way here through links...
Nov 10th

If you're like me and my roommates

and your kitchen looks like this…
Nov 9th
and this…
Nov 9th
and THIS…!
Nov 9th
…you should be ashamed of yourself! You don’t...
Nov 9th
Taybot/Phil&NumberMan Track on WSTR
Nov 9th
My friend James’ non ironic mullet in a pony-tail. The...
Nov 8th

What is going on!?

Those of you that are in or have been in college know that you are constantly getting emails about...
Nov 4th

Oct

Warch Watch
In appreciation for the new MTVmusic.com, which I’m sure everyone has heard about already,...
Oct 28th
'US troops' strike inside Syria
Oct 27th
Listen Listen
New beat
Oct 25th

Peter Lee's New Plan

Most of you know my friend Peter Lee has been trying to take over the world by selling...
Oct 23rd

Bored in Class

I was bored in class the other day and drew this (below)
Oct 18th
Oct 18th
Oct 18th
Peter Lee FaceBook Fan Club
Oct 18th

My Mother Fucking Roommate part 2

It’s 2am and my mother fucking roommate is out in the living room banging on the back of his...
Oct 16th

My Mother Fucking Roommate

One of my roommates comes back from work at around 10pm on most nights and plays videogames or...
Oct 16th
Listen Listen
arielemadi: One of Sal and Richard’s greatest prank calls from The Howard Stern Show: Chinese Food...
Oct 15th
“It began to seem that one would have to hold in the mind...”
— James Baldwin from Notes of a...
Oct 13th
Organizing your garbage will give you the false perception...
Oct 13th
Obama Heckler At Palin Event Video -...
Oct 12th

Linksys, what the fuck!?

Our mother fucking internet isn’t working. It keeps cutting in and out and when it’s in, it...
Oct 12th
Warch Watch
Nicely done.
Oct 11th
Warch Watch
I had to post this one too. If you haven’t watched the video below, watch it first before you...
Oct 10th
Warch Watch
Mr. Chi City Ballin at McDonalds! Mr. Chi City’s videos have been all over tumblr today. This...
Oct 10th
Listen Listen
“This Goes Out to You!” I relapsed today after eight days of not making a beat. I hope...
Oct 9th

This is pretty cool

I didn’t know this but Radiohead had a contest to make a music video for Reckoner using...
Oct 4th
Warch Watch
Radiohead - Reckoner by Clement Picon
Oct 4th

Sep

James Baldwin - Sonny's Blues
Sep 28th
“The other day he called me about his shirts and he said...”
— My cousin Ariel telling me...
Sep 26th
Warch Watch
thehypocrite: J Dilla - Wild (via fcukSTi) REAL MUSIC!!!! J DILLA R.I.P.
Sep 25th
Listen Listen
Pete Rock - Back On The Block
Sep 24th
Peter Lee’s shirts are in. Please buy one to help...
Sep 23rd
Warch Watch
SOPHIE CAN WALK by Gavin McInnes “This happens to over 99% of babies born in America...
Sep 23rd

NEVER buy anything from Aquarius Soft

If you read this site regularly then you will remember that about a month ago I wrote a post telling...
Sep 23rd
(via arielemadi) My cousin Ariel is in a fantasy football...
Sep 18th

Dear 11pm Darius:

Hey man, just wanted to say fuck you. Those extra strength Exedrins you took for your headache a...
Sep 16th
Here is part of Mr. Peter Lee’s Myspace page
Sep 15th
The shirt logo my friend Peter Lee plans to take over the...
Sep 15th
For about five or maybe even 6 years now, my friend Phil and...
Sep 14th

Peter Lee's Shirt Company is Prejudice!

What the fuck Peter Lee!!
Sep 14th

Peter Lee's plan to blow up UPDATE

There have been many Peter Lee updates in the past few hours. I asked him about his shirts and here...
Sep 14th
Peter Lee’s Facebook status. And new Facebook picture.
Sep 14th

Peter Lee's plan to blow up UPDATE

About a week ago I wrote about my friend Peter Lee’s plan to blow up. Or as he put it,...
Sep 14th
Earlier today I made a post making fun of a fictional speech my cousin Ariel had posted on his...
Sep 6th

Liberal Hypocrisy?

arielemadi: I wrote a speech that I was going to give at The Republican Convention, but I was...
Sep 5th

Peter Lee is planning to blow up!

Last night I had the pleasure of seeing my friend Peter Lee for a few minutes. For those of you who...
Sep 5th
Peter Lee’s Facebook picture.
Sep 5th
“Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.”
— Peter Ustinov (via...
Sep 4th
Warch Watch
This is the greatest music video ever produced! (despite it being sprinkled with very uncomfortable...
Sep 4th

Paris Entries #3

To those of you who have been regularly checking my tumblr know that I’ve been 1) Typing up my...
Sep 3rd
Listen Listen
More Jake One! Jake One ft. MF Doom - Trap Door (via Nah Right)
Sep 1st

Aug

Has anyone heard any rumors about the...

If you have, email me at DariusEmadi@gmail.com or leave a message in the comments below
Aug 31st
Listen Listen
Jake One ft. Freeway & Brother Ali - The Truth (via Nah Right)
Aug 31st
My Friend Phil started a Karl Pilkington...
Aug 31st

Dear Rational Darius

Dear Rational Darius, Fuck you. Why don’t you try doing the rational thing and check the...
Aug 31st

Dear Irrational Darius

Dear Irrational Darius, DO NOT listen to the Karl Pilkington compilation that your friend Phil just...
Aug 31st

Dear Irrational Darius

Dear Irrational Darius, How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since Tuesday when I told...
Aug 30th
“Wow, what a uterus”
— My Dad after CNN informed that...
Aug 29th
Warch Watch
My friend Zack Wolk, or as some know him, the King of Hollywood, posted this brilliant appearance by...
Aug 27th

DO NOT buy PC Alarm Clock Professional...

Last tuesday I had to wake up early for my weekly therapy appointment. Because my phone, which I use...
Aug 26th
“Shaved prime rib, caramelized onions, white cheddar...
Aug 25th

I can't believe this guy exists

I was looking up the video for Backstreet Boy’s “I Want it That Way” for inside...
Aug 24th

Paris Entries #2

from July 27th So far I’ve spent about 24 hours in Paris and have already learned a lot. As...
Aug 23rd
Sturgeon and Fries at Pike...
Aug 23rd

Does anybody have an extra phone?!

I’ve had my phone for nearly two years and it recently died! I have a month until my plan ends...
Aug 23rd

I need a job!

Why? Because I’m sitting in my room instead of watching Radiohead play at the White River...
Aug 21st

Paris Entries #1

from July 26th Just arrived in France. I’m not sure what time it is. I didn’t bring a...
Aug 19th
Listen Listen
Big L - Principal of the New School Very very rare Big L. The link to download it is at Nah Right
Aug 19th
The Taybot/Phil&NumberMan Mixtape is finally finished...
Aug 16th

I'm back

Those of you who visit this site when you’re bored or are in the mood to stalk may have...
Aug 16th

Jul

Jacksonpollock.org
Jul 25th
“According to the Associated Press, [Nas] is scheduled for a...”
— via hiphop dx
Jul 22nd
Prince Paul is doing the new Souls of...
Jul 22nd
Warch Watch
The Daily Show satirizes satire (via cc insider)
Jul 18th

Word of advice

If you’re starting to feel under the weather and want to prevent yourself from getting sick, and...
Jul 18th
“How can you argue with me???”
— Taybot writing about how he...
Jul 16th

Talking with Peter Lee

About two weeks ago I posted a conversation I had with Peter and said I was going to make an effort to post more. I've had a few conversations with him since then but none were too amusing until today. He must have been saving it all up. And again, I have to assure you, Peter Lee is real.
Peter: So I was telling my co-worker about you because he's Persian too and told him that he was a freak. Man he watches so much porn...
Me: what?
Peter: I told my co-worker about you because you know, he's Persian like you, and I told him that he's such a freak because he watches so much porn. It's crazy duuuu
Me: You told him about me because we're both Persian. Then you told him that he likes porn?? What are you talking about!
Peter: Cuz man, you're both Persian and I was telling him that you have your comedy and he has his porn. He was like, "Man, I want to lick a girls ass. But only after she gets out of the shower so it's clean" He's crazy man! He started humping this other guy. Dude it was soooooooo gaaaaaaaaaaaaay. He's turning everyone there gay! I'm like, "man!" Oh, I got to go, my girl's calling me
Jul 16th
Warch Watch
I’ve been watching a lot of exorcism videos on YouTube. All of them are hilarious. This one is...
Jul 16th
Excellent article about the lack of Obama...
Jul 15th
Warch Watch
New Prodigy video via Fader
Jul 15th

Modern Bible

streeter: Jesus and the Leper, Mark 1:40-47…40 And there came a leper to him, beseeching him, and...
Jul 8th
“You’re almost 23, your parents still pay for your...”
— My younger sister Roxanne...
Jul 8th

My Friend Peter Lee is the biggest...

Me: So are you going to come out tonight?
Peter: Nah man, I'm too tired. I'm gonna go home and work out
Me: I thought you said you're tired
Peter: I am man! But I gotta get "the perfect body"
Me: You're still doing that?
Peter: Yea man!
Me: Why?
Peter: To show it off! To kick ass! Play sports, and yea, kick ass
Jul 4th

Jun

“Bugs are fucking stupid!”
— My friend James after swatting...
Jun 30th
Listen Listen
Drake - Easy to Please I love this song!
Jun 22nd
Warch Watch
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit!
Jun 18th
Warch Watch
KICK IT!
Jun 12th
I’ve officially joined the Lil Wayne fan base 60% 75%...
Jun 8th

May

May 29th
Warch Watch
WOW
May 27th
May 24th
10 more days
May 20th
“Just wanted to share something. I’ve been watching the Wire...”
— Email from my Mom
May 12th
Warch Watch
Amazing (via ttl) 
May 6th
Listen Listen
Biggie - Kick in the Door Remix (rough draft)
May 3rd
What I Can Tell You About Seattle Based On...